Mike Murray essay -- All the Way

11 July 2007

All the Way

--by Mike Murray

An advocate of moderation in most matters, I confess that I believe that there are times when it makes sense to throw caution to the wind. There are times when you need to take big risks. There are times when you need to pull out all the stops.

Picture the television detective, chasing a perp across New York rooftops. The villain leaps successfully from one building to the next. Our hero gulps. The person being pursued has no choice: to balk would mean certain capture and a long prison term.

But the pursuer has options. Continue, and possibly make the collar. Or continue, and maybe end up a stain on the ground below, should he fail to sail all the way to the far rooftop. Successfully nab the criminal, or experience “deceleration trauma,” a fatal case of “cement poisoning.”

Or he can take the easy way out. He can call for backup.

You know how these things typically turn out. The good guy pauses, but ultimately jumps. He “gets his man.” But you can be darned sure that his adrenaline is pumping, that he puts everything he has into his leap.

That’s the way it is at critical moments. Half-hearted attempts just don’t cut it.

At such times, circumstance finds you on the edge of an abyss. Below lies failure. Across awaits success. In attempting to span the perilous chasm that lies before you, you need to give yourself over completely to the effort. When you decide to take that grand leap of faith over danger and doubt, you need to do it powerfully. Anything less could be disastrous.

Sometimes, there truly are “no points for second place.”

Billy Joel wrote in I Go to Extremes: “You can be sure when I’m gone / I won’t be out there too long.” To what do you suppose he was referring? I think he was speaking of the decision that some Christians believe God makes at each person’s passing: Heaven or Hell? A stint in Purgatory? How long?

Purgatory is for imperfect (but not fatally flawed) penitents. Which is to say, most of us. At our passing, we’re neither quite good enough for Heaven nor bad enough for Hell. So we’re sentenced to a period of atonement before being granted admission into eternal paradise. The length of time we’re required to serve depends on the relative degrees of goodness and badness we exhibited during our Earthly existences.

At least, that’s the way some people interpreted things decades ago, when Billy Joel penned his lyrics. With respect to extremists, I think Joel was saying that divine deliberations don’t take long. Thumbs up or thumbs down, God has easy decisions to make. Extremists leave no doubt. Their actions bespeak clear intention – and obvious consequence.

When his time comes, I reckon Joel figures that he’s headed expeditiously for reward or punishment, with little need for stopover in the squishy middle. His lyrics reveal that he’s comfortable with (or at least resigned to) that reality.

Joel’s larger point is that there are times when moderation is pointless. Sometimes, it’s a case of “everything or nothing at all.” You’re either all the way in or you’re all the way out.

Think back. What deeply moved you, long ago? To what did you once aspire? What did you hope to become? To accomplish?

Did practical matters get in the way? Did your reluctance to make major changes in your life dissuade? Did the disapproval of others discourage?

Did you subsequently lower your expectations? Did you put your dream on hold? Did your inability to commit cause you to abandon it altogether?

If you did so for the sake of others, well enough. There is dignity – nobility, even – in selfless acts. Those who slog along, day-in and day-out, tending to others’ needs lead lives of virtue. They earn respect and admiration. If there is a God, he or she is surely takes notice. Great rewards in the hereafter await. At least, they do if there is even an ounce of higher purpose to the universe.

But when opportunity knocks at your door, flowers in hand, it is best to answer promptly. Because there is no telling how persistent a suitor it will be. Whether your passion be writing or brick-laying, painting or plumbing, you need to strike while the iron is hot.

For some, such moments come along only once in a lifetime. How many people have you heard say that they postponed an opportunity, expecting that they could return to it later – only to discover that such was not the case?

Some of those folks were only planning to work a mind-numbing (though good-paying) job “for a few years.” Just long enough to get their families off to a good start. Perhaps they wanted to accumulate enough money to place a down payment on a house. Maybe they wanted to be able to afford to have a child – or children.

Before long, they found that they couldn’t manage with less income. The kids needed braces. There were car and insurance payments to make, home repairs that couldn’t wait, weddings and tuitions to save for.

Decades passed. Where did the time go? Wherever it went, it took opportunity with it.

In other cases, careers were put on hold and gratification deferred – just for a while, “just until the kids get a little bigger.” How many times have such temporary postponements led to permanent cancellations? How many dreams have withered and died on vines of familial fidelity?

Societies depend on the dutiful. They crumble without them. Especially precious are those who care for and nurture the young, the disabled, the elderly, the needy. Selfless acts are never wasted. People whose only “accomplishments” involve improving the lives of others achieve more than most.

But for those for whom service to others and self-fulfillment are not entirely one and the same, all is not lost. Altruism and self-actualization need not be mutually exclusive. After years of “doing for others,” opportunity sometimes knocks again. Will you recognize it if it returns?

In its first incarnation, it was easy to spot. It probably arrived during your youth, when you allowed yourself to dream big dreams. It could have been the chance to move far away, where vistas compel. It could have been to go to college or to graduate school. Perhaps you wanted to start your own business – take a stab at contracting. Or maybe open a repair shop. Whatever it was, the image in your mind was clear.

But the passage of time blurs vision. If you have denied yourself for decades, you may have lost all sight of your once-burning ambition.

Fate, however, sometimes lends a hand. And it can do so in strange, unexpected ways. Someone close to you dies. Your job evaporates. Your marriage implodes. A traumatic event of some kind turns your life upside down, puts you in crisis.

Such moments are painful. They are also milestones, potential turning points. They can be opportunities in disguise. They place you at critical crossroads. They prod you to reevaluate, to take stock. They force you to decide: in which direction will you head? Such moments give you the chance to make profound changes in your life.

They are second chances.

Because out of such chaos can come order – even if it’s not the kind of order that makes sense to anyone else. To some, your departure from past practice and your divergence from the safe path offer proof that you have taken leave of your senses. No matter.

When you are finally listening faithfully to your inner voice, when you are at long last doing what moves you most, uncertainty and discomfort cease to dissuade. Disapproval no longer deters.

This is your moment. You long-ago abandoned your dream. You have for years subordinated personal fulfillment to the greater good of others. But you cannot continue to deny yourself in the presence of blessed, renewed opportunity.

You are lucky enough to have rekindled your desire. Fan its flame. Passionately pursue. This time, hold nothing back.